


24 - right here, right now (an old flame)

by kaiohtic



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:40:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9097900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaiohtic/pseuds/kaiohtic
Summary: Instead of dwelling on the past, Jongin wants Sehun to look forward to their future together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is not as fluffy as i intended it to be, but i hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless.

“Sehun, are you okay?” Jongin asks, worry written all over his face. His boyfriend is spacing out, which isn’t unusual since Sehun does it a lot, but Jongin worries nonetheless. It’s hard to understand Sehun at times, although they have been with and there for each other for a long time.  
  
They met in middle school and hit it off right away. Sehun’s quiet nature matched well with Jongin’s more introverted personality. Nonetheless, Jongin had been the one to approach Sehun first, though it had only been for a group project. Had he not been assigned to work with Sehun back then, who knows, maybe they wouldn’t be where they are now.  
  
Jongin remembers fondly the way Sehun’s eyes lit up when he saw Jongin’s collection of anime merchandise at home when they worked on their homework and assignment together. Jongin had learned that Sehun loves anime and manga just as much as he does, but apart from that, they both share an equally great interest in sports. Being a bit shy though, they didn’t try out for soccer club that year. They did that together the next year though.  
  
It’s that smile that had drawn Jongin in, he thinks. Sehun doesn’t show many emotions, but when he is very happy, he can’t hide it. The moment Sehun loses control over his expressions and actions is when Jongin likes Sehun the most, the moments in which Sehun is simply being _himself_.  
  
Of course, right now Sehun is being himself, too, but he’s absent-minded which throws Jongin off a bit. He knew that dating Sehun wouldn’t be easy, but he couldn’t help it. He had been in love with Sehun for too long and he had been watching Sehun breaking apart slowly with his first relationship for too long. It was difficult, but Jongin managed to bring back Sehun’s smile after he was dumped by Junmyeon.  
  
Jongin doesn’t hate Junmyeon. He had been a good boyfriend to Sehun. He had been Sehun’s first love, too. He does resent Junmyeon however, for taking some of Sehun’s firsts, but what he is most upset about is how painful he had made it for Sehun. He had been perfect, attentive, caring, to a point Sehun had fallen so far Jongin could barely pull him out after they broke up.  
  
Junmyeon had given Sehun hope all along, although their relationship couldn’t be saved anymore. Jongin had known it. He had tried to talk Sehun out of it, but it’s all Junmyeon’s fault for trying when no matter how much they tried, they couldn’t stay together. Jongin had seen the love slowly fading - the way Junmyeon looked at Sehun didn’t resemble the way Jongin looked at Sehun anymore. He should have let go of Sehun earlier.  
  
“I’m sorry, Jongin,” Sehun whispers and draws back Jongin’s attention. Jongin smiles softly, knowing that whatever he says, Sehun wouldn’t listen. Sehun would still feel apologetic, but the one who should be apologizing is Jongin. He had pushed Sehun into going out with him and just giving it a try. Maybe he’s not any better than Junmyeon whose feelings have fade. Maybe he’s even _worse_ because he keeps pushing, albeit gently, but he is still pushing and trying so desperately to have Sehun stay with him and love him back.  
  
“I’m sorry but I-,” Sehun repeats quietly, his complexion paling as his voice breaks. Jongin looks around and understands. Junmyeon just entered the coffee shop with his new boyfriend in his arms, and Sehun apologized not for spacing out earlier, but because he needs to leave, because he thinks he’s ruining their date.  
  
“It’s fine,” Jongin replies and gets up. He doesn’t mind. His smile is still there because as long as he has Sehun with him, there is no reason not to smile. Sehun’s well-being is the most important to him, in both physical and mental terms, so he helps his boyfriend up and shields him from view, quickly leaving the coffee shop. There’s plenty other occasions to go out and have a nice, warm beverage, and this is not the only café that both Sehun and Jongin like to frequent.  
  
“It’s fine,” Jongin reassures Sehun, but he’s not quite sure if Sehun understands that he’s being sincere.  
  
  
  
  
  
“l’m sorry,” Sehun apologizes again, later that night. They’re in bed together, Sehun’s boney frame pressed against his body. He feels warm with the way Sehun is looking at him with wide eyes, almost like a frightened deer. There is nothing to be afraid of though, for Jongin is not planning on abandoning Sehun ever. Even if it doesn’t work out in the end he won’t leave Sehun. He will stay as best friend, knowing, that they weren’t meant to be together.  
  
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jongin whispers back. “It takes time to get over an ex. And it takes a lot more time to get over your first love.”  
  
Sehun doesn’t reply for a while, so Jongin closes his eyes, ready to fall asleep with Sehun in his arms.  
  
“It’s been almost half a year,” Sehun mumbles.  
  
“I know,” Jongin replies. He takes a deep breath. Jongin might be understanding and patient, but it’s still hard to console Sehun. It hurts him to say things like these, but he wants to be honest. “It’s okay if you still love him. You’ll probably never stop loving him.” _The same way I could never stop loving you_ , he thinks.  
  
“I… I don’t think I love him anymore,” Sehun murmurs. “But it still hurts. He pitied me, that’s why he didn’t break up right away, right? Am I that pathetic?”  
  
“Not at all. He was selfish, Sehun, that’s all,” Jongin replies, heart aching. Sometimes he wishes he had been more selfish. If only he had taken Sehun away earlier. If only he had tried to get between the two of them right away when he noticed Junmyeon slowly distancing himself from Sehun. Maybe he could have saved Sehun like that.  
  
“You won’t be like Junmyeon, right?”  
  
“Never,” Jongin says. He wants to promise to Sehun, but he knows Sehun doesn’t trust in words. He has stopped believing every sweet whisper and murmur to his ear. He only believes in actions, so Jongin proves it by pulling Sehun tighter, his nose nuzzling against Sehun’s neck.  
  
“I’ll always be Jongin,” he whispers. “Or do I seem like Junmyeon?”  
  
“You don’t,” Sehun says tonelessly. Jongin can hear his voice trembling. “You’re Jongin. And I wish I fell for you first. I wish-”  
  
“The past is the past, Sehun,” Jongin interrupts him. “Let’s focus on the future now. On us. It doesn’t matter that I’m not your first if I can be your last.”  
  
And as Sehun cries into his shoulder that night, Jongin thinks that this is good enough. One day, Sehun will stop thinking about the past, and by then, he will solely focus on the present and the future - he will solely focus on what he has and will have with Jongin.


End file.
